My Burden, My Pride
by relic yuy
Summary: A look into the relationship of Byakuya and Rukia. How she went from being his burden to being his sister and other humourous tidbits and glimpses into their lives.
1. Defiant

AN: This is my take on how Rukia and Byakuya's relationship evolved from the first season when he was ready to have her executed to the present where he called her his pride. I must admit that was my turning point with him. He was always just sort of there for me before but when he said that it completely changed the way I saw him and I wondered how he had gotten there. So this is what I came up with. Hope you like.

Reviews: Good or bad, I always want to hear your thoughts. Everyone's opinion is valid and I will acknowledge and respond to any opinion as long as you're willing to defend it. Thank you!

* * *

Rukia slid the shoji door open and stepped in quietly. Byakuya glanced at her from the corner of his eye but made no other motion of recognition.

"Nii-sama," Rukia said firmly.

Although her tone surprised him, Kuchiki Byakuya never showed it for a second. When Rukia whispered a kidou spell and erected a barrier around the room, Byakuya raised an elegant eyebrow. The strength of her spell was impressive, especially since she was still recovering. He could easily break it but for the time being he allowed it.

"I want you to release me from the Kuchiki clan."

"Excuse me?"

"I understand your reasons for adopting me now and I appreciate everything that you have done for me since I have been brought into your family and home. But your promise to Hisana has been honoured so there is no reason for me to stay any longer."

"My promise to your sister was that I would adopt you and keep you safe. It is a promise that I intend to keep."

"She's dead," Rukia said icily. "She didn't care in life and she certainly doesn't care now."

Byakuya's reiatsu turned vicious and the stare that he fixed on his adopted sister would have brought any mighty warrior to his knees but Rukia didn't even flinch.

"You will refrain from speaking of your sister and my late wife with such disrespect. Do I need to remind you that you wouldn't be standing here if she didn't care?"

"She abandoned me as a baby. I will not suffer to be your burden because of her guilt."

"That's enough," Byakuya spoke, quiet but menacing. "You will show your sister the respect she deserves."

"I owe her nothing. I will not be made a tool to ease her guilty memory."

"Do you have any idea how she suffered with the guilt of abandoning you?"

"Suffered? Do you even know what suffering is? Do you know the feeling of watching the old woman who used the meager scraps she owned to raise you and feed you without any expectation for repayment, then watch from inside the cupboard she stuffed you in as she was struck down by bandits who made off with the 6 coins we had to our name? Do you know what it's like to wander the streets stealing food and ducking the groping hands of perverts who didn't even care that I didn't even have breasts yet?"

"I know you had a difficult life. Hisana knew too and she regretted it, she dedicated her existence to finding you. To making it right…"

"That doesn't erase anything!" Rukia screamed, shoulders shaking, tears threatening to fall. "All the guilt in the world doesn't change a damn thing! If I hadn't met Renji, I would have probably ended up in a whorehouse…"

"But you didn't. You're here. You're a Kuchiki and it's because of her."

"How can you defend her?" Rukia screamed, tears now flowing freely. "What if it had been your baby? What if she had given you a child and in her incompetence been unable to care for that child. Would you still be defending her if she abandoned your daughter in the Rukongai? How can you love a woman that selfish and pathetic?"

"Stop," Byakuya said but it lacked authority this time. I sounded more like a plea. "I understand that you have no love for her but please, stop... If not for her sake then for mine. I did love her, I still love her... Please stop. I want to remember her in the best light."

"Let me go," Rukia said again. "You've kept your promise, so let me go. This is the only thing I have ever asked of you. All these years I have done everything you asked without question, given up my best friend, given up my pride, my ambitions... All of it because I thought I meant something to you. But all this time and it turns out she's still screwing with my life, taking everything I have achieved in my life without her."

Before Rukia could blink, Byakuya had flashsteped over to her. On instinct, she reached for her sword even though she wasn't carrying it but froze when she realized there were strong arms wrapped around her and her cheek was pressed against the rich fabric of his kimono.

"In all the years you have been my sister," Byakuya said, "this is the first time you have spoken so directly to me. In all the years you have been here, you have done everything you were ever asked. You didn't only look like her, but you were as docile and subdued as she was. How could it not break my heart every time I looked at you?"

Rukia looked up and saw real emotion in his eyes. Byakuya's face was still stoic but his eyes spoke volumes. She wanted to say something but he continued before she had the chance.

"When you went to Karakura town and gave that Kurosaki boy your powers, you went against the rules of soul society and when you were caught, you took your punishment like a true noble. Like a Kuchiki. You were never a burden, Rukia. Because of all the rules I must follow and the promises I have made, I haven't given you the chance to be yourself."

Rukia's tears started anew. She was so tired. That spell took a lot out of her and then with the confrontation, the confessions, it was so much to process, so much to think about. Her knees gave way and she all thoughts escaped her.

* * *

It was dark when she woke again, in her own room, in her own bed. Had it all been a dream? Did she have to confront him again? She didn't know if she had the strength but she didn't want to wait either. The longer she stayed, the longer she would be taking advantage of his promise to her sis... to that woman. Bile rose into her throat at the thought of her. She couldn't have had all that hard of a life if she managed to make it all the way into the bed of a noble. How hard was it to take care of a baby anyway? Kenpachi could do it and that bloodthirsty man didn't have a nurturing bone in his body. Yachiru was a brat but she was alive. Yuriko, the old lady who had found Rukia had managed. Despite her poor health and her age she had managed. The old woman had fed her by washing dishes in restaurants with Rukia tied to her back in exchange for the leftovers at the end of the night. She had never taken a bite as far as Rukia could remember. Every morsel had gone to the hungry baby.

The door slid open and Byakuya appeared with a tray of food. He came to kneel next to her, placing the tray on the ground as she sat up stiffly. There was a long moment of silence before Byakuya spoke.

"The first time I saw you, you were hitting Abarai in the head because he called you short. You also silenced those who had the audacity to laugh at his statement with a carefully placed glare. That was the little sister I was expecting: defiant and fierce but graceful and noble at the same time. I was prepared for a quick witted, rebellious hell raiser and despite the fact that you look so much like her, I knew I could not confuse the two of you since you were so different."

Rukia remained motionless. Why was he telling her all of this?

"When I took you home, no doubt you heard some of the arguments I had with the elders. Perhaps you even got wind of the whispers from the servants of the uphill battle it was for you to join the clan. I instructed the clan never to say a word to you but I had observed on a few occasions that their interaction with you was either cold or nonexistent. I spoke to them about it but I only have so much power. You welcome into this family was a cold one and I must apologize for it. The strain of this household is suffocating even for someone born within but it must have been unbearable for you to enter into. When you arrived, you were very docile and shy. Hisana was very much the same way. I had hoped that your spirit would return once you grew more comfortable within these walls but that never happened. You've never felt at home here and I am to blame.

You were wrong when you told Abarai that I have never cared for you. I would not have chosen Abarai as my Lieutenant had it not been for you."

"Renji deserved that position," Rukia cut in sharply. "He is strong and able."

"Indeed," Byakuya said. "He has turned out to be an excellent Lieutenant but I must admit he would have been quickly dismissed had it not been for you. As you know from my previous Lieutenants, I prefer my subordinates to be less hot headed and more obedient."

"If it hadn't been for me?"

"It would be much more appropriate for my sister to speak regularly to my Lieutenant rather than one of the ruffians in the 11th division."

"You did not chose Renji just so that I could talk to him again," Rukia said.

"Of course not. His abilities won him the position but you won him the consideration."

"Why would you care if I spoke to Renji or not?"

Byakuya sighed, he wasn't used to stating the obvious. "You don't have many friends, Rukia. After Kaien's death you became even more reclusive. I knew I couldn't offer any comfort. I was impressed with Abarai for keeping his distance for your sake. It showed how much he cares about you. The first and last time I saw you smile, he had put that smile there. I was hoping he could do it again."

Rukia remained silent. Who was this man? She no longer knew what to think. He had revealed more about himself in the past week than in all the 40 years she had been his sister. It was unsettling and very difficult to swallow.

"If you wish to leave the Kuchiki house, I will not hinder you. But it is not my wish that you leave," Byakuya said, very formally.

"What is your wish," Rukia ventured.

"My wish is that you stay and give me another chance to be your brother."

Suddenly, Rukia saw it. It was always there and she wondered how she could have missed it before.

"Are you really that lonely?" She whispered.

Byakuya's jaw clenched and his eyes slid shut. He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes," he admitted quietly.

Rukia felt the urge to hug the man. He was human! A small smile tugged at her face.

"If I stay, certain things must change," she said.

"Such as?"

"We must start having meals together."

"We do have meals together."

"Not once in awhile. Every time we are both home and they can't be in complete silence like we usually do."

"I don't understand."

"At Ichigo's house, they tell one another about their day at suppertime."

"I doubt anything in my day will be of any interest to you."

"Then we'll talk about anything."

"Our food will get cold."

"You're being stubborn."

Byakuya raised an amused eyebrow at her. "Alright. We'll try it. What else?"

"You must let Ukitake Taicho rank me as he sees fit."

"The missions will get more dangerous," Byakuya cautioned.

Rukia's response was another request. "You must have a little more faith in me."

"I have faith in your ability, Rukia but even as an unranked officer I haven't been able to keep you safe."

"I can't improve without challenging myself."

Byakuya sighed. "I will speak to Ukitake Taicho but only when you have fully recovered."

"Deal!"

"Anything else?"

"Nothing else for now. We'll see when I'm feeling better."

Byakuya smirked. It looked awkward and unused but it was the closest thing to a smile he could muster.

"Goodnight, sister," he said. He gave her a kiss on the temple and left quietly.

"Goodnight, Nii-sama," Rukia whispered touching her temple where he had kissed her.

It was the first sign of affection he had ever shown her and for the first time ever, it made her happy to be his sister.


	2. Candy Hearts

AN: This is a short silly piece that I wrote. Just a small glimpse of Byakuya and Rukia's budding relationship as brother and sister when no one else is around.

* * *

"Good evening, Nii-sama," Rukia said as she found her brother in the garden.

"Welcome back," he said to her. "How was the real world?"

"Same as usual," Rukia responded.

She sat down on the veranda next to him and they gazed out at the garden. There they sat together in complete silence, watching the serene garden and listening to the cicadas song as the cool evening breeze whispered through the sparsely leafed trees. One could easily sit here and let the stress of the day simply slip away. It was a beautiful garden, very peaceful, soothing. It had been this way ever since the day Rukia first lay eyes on it.

"You need a better hobby," Rukia said finally.

No matter how beautiful this garden was, staring at it day after day certainly sucked the charm out of it. There had to be healthier hobbies than sitting and staring all evening.

Byakuya chuckled, "What would you suggest, sister?"

Rukia sighed and contemplated for a moment. She knew he loved this garden but she had never seen him actually touch it.

"Gardening?" She suggested.

"And soil my noble fingers?" Byakuya teased, "I think not."

He may have said it in jest but Rukia was well aware of the truth behind the words. Besides, she knew that he paid the gardeners good money to keep the garden as pristine as it was. What else could he do?

"Music?"

Byakuya thoughts went to Hisagi and his guitar. One could always tell what mood the 9th Division Lieutenant was in by the notes he strummed on his instrument.

"Too revealing. I have no intention of wearing my heart on my sleeve."

"Dating?" Rukia suggested hopefully.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was becoming more daring these days. It was charming, somewhat but that was out of the question for now.

"Or not," Rukia said sheepishly. "Oh, that reminds me…"

Rukia dug around in her pockets. She pulled out a small package and placed it into his hand.

"Valentine's day is approaching in the real world and they have all these strange confectionaries there. I know you're not very fond of sweets but I thought you might like these."

Byakuya looked at the small pouch of red, heart shaped candies. They smelled sweet and spicy. Normally, when presented with a present he didn't particularly want he would accept it graciously and later hand it off to one of the servants. If the gift in question was a sugary treat, he would usually send it the way of the pink haired terror that infested his home every now and again. But this was a gift from his sister. He would try one, just to make her happy.

He picked up a little heart and placed it on the tip of his tongue. Cinnamon, he recognized immediately. A lot of cinnamon. He rolled it around his mouth feeling the spiciness spread like a small fire over his tongue. One certainly could not eat more than one at a time of these tiny candies. In his mind's eye he imagined his reckless Lieutenant grabbing a handful out of a candy dish and shoving them in his mouth. He would almost hear Abarai howling in anguish and his face burning as bright red as his hair.

He could also imagine the pink haired hellion seeing a bowl and shoving as many in her mouth as would fit. He wondered how she would react. That child did eat everything she managed to get her hands on but Byakuya knew for a fact that she was not a fan of spicy. An evil sort of smirk spread over his face.

"Oi," Rukia frowned, "What are you thinking? You look scary."

"You got these in the real world," Byakuya said, ignoring her question.

"Yes, they are only sold for a short while each year around Valentine's day. Do you like them?"

"Indeed. Is this as spicy as they come?" Byakuya asked.

"No, I'm pretty sure I saw some extra spicy ones at the candy store."

"When you return to the real world, bring some back for me. Enough to fill a large candy dish." He swallowed the small heart with a satisfied smirk.

"Umm… alright, Nii-sama," Rukia said. She could almost hear the wheels spinning in his head. She wondered what he was up to but she thought that maybe it was better if she didn't ask.

_A few weeks later…_

"KEN-CHAAAAAAAAN!!!!!"

Rukia rushed to see what all the commotion was. As she stepped out into the hallway, she was nearly knocked over by a crying pink blur racing towards the door. No doubt that was Yachiru-chan but what had caused the usually chipper child to become so upset? Perhaps Byakuya knew, Yachiru-chan had been running away from his quarters after all.

Rukia found her brother with ease. He was sitting at his desk practicing his calligraphy. Byakuya was looking oddly pleased with himself. It was rather unsettling. Without looking up from his work, he waved Rukia into the room. She sat in a chair opposite his and was about to speak, when a large gust of reiatsu washed into the room. There was no mistaking who it had come from. Turning her head, she saw him standing by the door. He must have used shunpo to have appeared just like that.

"Welcome, Kenpachi," Byakuya greeted politely, "How may we help you today."

Kenpachi leaned against the doorframe lazily. On his face was the fools grin he wore when his opponent impressed him a battle. He scratched the back of his head and the shaking bells made a pretty sound.

"So ya finally did it, huh?" He leered cheekily. "Figured out how to keep her the hell out of yer house. Took ya long enough."

"I did nothing," Byakuya said though his lips twisted at the corners, giving him away.

"Ya well, she sent me here to yell at ya or something..." Kenpachi trailed off. It was quite obvious he had no such intention. He was in a lazy mood and talking took far to much effort.

"How did you manage to placate her?" Byakuya inquired.

"I passed her off to Yumichika and Ikkaku," Kenpachi grinned. "Now I just need to hide out here for awhile. At least till she stops wailing."

"You are most welcome to stay," Byakuya said graciously gesturing to the available chair. He picked up the dish at the edge of his desk and offered it to his guest. "Candy heart?"

Rukia took notice of the bowl for the first time she had entered. She had only filled it this morning but only a few remained at the bottom of the dish now. Rukia gasped quietly, her brother was an evil genius!


	3. A lesson in French

It's been a long time but here is another ficlet from the lives of the Kuchiki siblings with an appearance by our favourite fiesty Lieutenant, Renji.

Probably yes, it also contains a mature-ish theme. A foreign naughty word. But it's all very subtle.

* * *

One sunny afternoon in spring, the Kuchiki siblings sat down in the tea room next to their garden for a nice cup of tea. It was April and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. It was a tranquil scene, for the siblings sat and drank in a comfortable silence. Both seemed lost in thought and it was the eldest who spoke first.

"Are you familiar with French at all?" Byakuya asked suddenly.

"French?" If Rukia thought the question was random, she did not show it. Her brother must have some reason. "A little bit. Why do you ask?"

"Perhaps you can help me with something."

"I don't know if I'll be much help but I'll try. What is it?" Rukia took a sip of tea.

Byakuya gracefully set down his cup. Behind him, the perfectly manicured garden and the gentle fall of cherry blossom petals painted a beautiful serene picture.

"What is a _ménage a trios_?"

PFFFFTTTT! *cough cough choke*

Kuchiki Byakuya's expression did not change as he was doused in a thin spray of tea and saliva. He picked up his napkin and elegantly dabbed the cooling liquid off of his face. Once he was relatively dry, he lay the folded silk cloth next to his dish and waited for his sister.

It took several long moments for Rukia, her eyes as wide as saucers and her face as red as a plum blossom, to cough the tea out of her wind pipe. With none of the exercised poise she had practiced for decades, she dragged her napkin over her wet chin. As she sucked the air greedily back into her lungs, she knew how impolite she was being, but she was far too shocked to care. She stared dumbfounded at her seemingly unaffected brother who had gone back to sedately sipping his tea.

"Why are you asking about… _that _all of a sudden?" She managed with a deep blush.

"My Lieutenant was recounting a tale of such a thing."

Rukia mentally swore to smack Renji hard next time she saw him. Of course, where else would her pristine brother learn such an unwholesome word?

"It would seem you are familiar with it then?" Byakuya continued.

Rukia was mortified. She couldn't be expected to explain _that_ to her bother. Honestly, he was a man, wasn't he? How could he not know what it was?

"Not so much familiar, Nii-sama but… I do know what it means."

"Proceed," Byakuya said.

"Uh, Nii sama, it's not exactly… It's… um… maybe you should ask Renji."

"Nonsense. If you already know what it means then I have no need to ask him."

"It's… it's not something that should be discussed over tea."

"You're being obstinate, sister. I seem to recall that it was you who requested better communication between us."

"Yes but… I never expected…"

"Yo, Taichou! Ooh, taiyaki!" Renji walked in and plopped himself on the ground next to Rukia, pilfering a taiyaki from her plate.

Rukia didn't know whether to punch him the crass idiot for putting that _word _into her brothers head or whether to kiss him for showing up uninvited and unconsciously throwing her a lifeline. She decided on a common ground that would give them all exactly what they deserved.

"Welcome, Renji. Nii-sama and I were just talking about you. Nii-sama has a question for you."

"Indeed," Byakuya said.

"Shoot," said Renji, swallowing another taiyaki whole.

"What is a _ménage a trios_?"

Renji's mouth fell open._ He did not just say that,_ Renji thought. He turned to Rukia for confirmation."What the…?"

"You put it in his head," Rukia scoffed, "You explain it now."

"When did I… Oh…" Renji laughed nervously. He really hadn't been planning on death today.

"Come now," Byakuya began, "If you are both aware of what this word means then I would like to know its definition immediately."

"Go ahead, Renji," Rukia said, looking at her childhood friend.

He shot her a glare and weighed his options.

"It's a French word, Taichou."

"I am aware of that. I have looked up the words and could make no sense of them. _Ménage_ is the French word for cleaning and _trois _is the French for 3. I don't understand how they are related and why they are of such intrigue that half a dozen of my officers, neglected their duties to listen to you tell a tale of cleaning."

Maybe death would be the easiest way out of this one, Renji thought.

"Um…"

"Abarai," Byakuya voice gave no hint of his annoyance.

Renji was however, well accustomed to the tells of his Taichou's irritation. There was no getting out of this one. Just get it over with and hope for the best, he thought to himself.

He leaned across the table and whispered the meaning into his Captain's ear.

_Well, it was nice knowing him,_ Rukia thought. _It's a shame. He was like a brother to me._

"I see," Byakuya said, then a thought seemed to flash across his mind. "Did you teach Rukia this word?" He said dangerously.

"No!" Renji said raising his hands in defence. Then he turned to Rukia with a frown. "Wait! You know what that means?"

"Of course I know what that means!" Rukia snapped. What was she, some child?

"How exactly do you know of this?" Byakuya asked, his tone suspicious and tight. "Did that Kurosaki boy tell you of this?"

"What? NO! Ichigo probably doesn't even know what that is!"

"So how do_ you_?" Renji scowled.

When had this turned into an interrogation? And why was the on the receiving end of it?

"I'm over 150 years old!" Rukia said indignantly. "What, did you think I was a virgin all this time?"

CRASH!

Byakuya's teacup slipped between his fingers and shattered against the table. Both the captain and his lieutenant shared the same incredulous look. It was as if they had received news of some atrocious occurrence. It would have been comical if the air wasn't so thick.

Byakuya was the first to recover. He stood and with incredible effort, regained his demure expression.

"This conversation never happened," he stated. "Come, Abarai. We have work to do."

He turned and walked out of the room with a rather shell shocked Renji close on his heels.


End file.
